I hate to admit it, but I struggle. until I became one. Why do you constantly keep praying and ministering and preaching and hoping for people who really seem like they don't want to be bothered? That's exactly what I asked God when He called me to ministry, “...Why?” Why can't somebody else go? Why can't you use Brother Over There who needs the call more than I do? Why can't You use Sister That Everybody Loves? “Because, I want you," He said. You have unique giftings and abilities that will be an asset to me in the very near future. That was January 1994. By July of that year, I was sitting in a service at New Life Church, of all places, when He spoke to me again at the altar call that evening.  All He said was, “Your time is drawing near, get ready for work.” And suddenly, the Word of God opened up to me like never before. I began hearing preaching and teaching in my own voice, but I didn't want to do it, and I sho'nuff didn't want to hear it. But, soon, God began to get on my nerves. It was kind of like that movie, “Ghost” when the Patrick Swayze character began singing “Henry the Eighth” over and over to get Whoopi to help him with his mission once he realized that he had been murdered. That's what God was doing to me, murdering my will so that His could become a reality in my life. And in November, I stopped struggling and yielded. One of the best things I ever did.

I remember thinking how awesome a task was now before me. To not only live the Gospel, but to also carry the Gospel. And I began to understand that in order for me to carry the gospel, I had to live it. I knew that I couldn't just put my hand on the plow and if it didn't work go back. Once I said yes, I knew it was for the rest of my life.  —Neil M. Brown