When you are operating outside of your gifts, your work will tell on you. You should be embarrassed. You would be embarrassed, but your ego is like a defense mechanism preventing you from even realizing how far out of your element you are. And that’s how you know you’re in trouble: when you’re doing something obviously mediocre and meddling in things you do not understand and you’re not even embarrassed about it. Life will inevitably become more rewarding when you stop going your way and instead move in-stream with the Holy Spirit, working through those gifts and talents God has ordained uniquely within you.
“Brother, you need to learn how to play that thing,”
Mr. Bowen would tell me on occasion, shooing me off the piano
and sending me on the long journey across the choir stand to the
dreaded Hammond B3. I say “dreaded” because I never learned how
to play the Hammond. I never had much interest in the arcane
wooden cabinet with those mysterious drawbars and presets and
switches for the leslies and, worst of all, the pedal board
below my feet. You can always tell a Hammond rookie because he’s
always looking at his feet, and looking at my feet was
practically all I did the very few times I played Hammond at the
church. The Hammond, simply, is not my gift. Hearing a keyboard
player on a Hammond is a lot like listening to a guitar player
on bass. Sure, the instruments are similar, but the bass guitar
is more than the sum of its strings. It’s about attitude, and it
requires a certain gifting to know where the basement is and how
best to hammer people with it. A guy like me, faking it and
struggling up there, is not an organist. I’ve heard some
fantastic pianists who can’t play the Hammond. The Hammond
separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls. Do
not approach unless you’re properly gifted in that area: you’ll
embarrass yourself.
This is, essentially, what happens when we try and operate
outside of our gifting. Which isn't to say you can never learn
the Hammond—I’m sure most anyone can. But the anointing of God
is not something to be mocked or discounted or taken for
granted. The very best student can still be a half-baked
organist without the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I mean,
drowning in it. There are so many things going on in the mind of
an organist, so many decisions he is making throughout the
performance, that listing them all would be daunting. When we
operate outside of our gifts, we tend to make fools of
ourselves. Sometimes, our foolishness is obvious: me on the
Hammond. But, more often than not, the more power an individual
has, the less obvious his foolishness when he or she begins
operating outside of their gifting. Or, perhaps, more
accurately, the less like people are to call them on it because
we, all of us, tend to be more polite to people we love or fear.
A 15-year old kid making a mess of devotion is something people
scream about. A pastor’s wife embarrassing herself singing a
solo is less likely to garner public criticism. This is the
essential lesson of the Hans Christian Anderson fable The
Emperor's New Clothes.
I remember playing piano for one sister who was singing “His Eye
Is On The Sparrow.” This was one of those sisters who really
wasn’t a great singer, which is me putting things charitably. I
thought she was awful, and I’m certain others did too and
wondered why this woman usually had a solo at almost every choir
engagement. And, yes, I’m certain there’s someone like this in
your church, too. She had a serviceable voice but lacked
subtlety, warmth and emotion. It was all emotion on the sleeve,
fake emotion, soap opera emotion. I never got the sense, from
her singing, that she had a genuine relationship with God. I
always got the sense she simply liked, or more accurately
needed, to be seen. Her demeanor was all faux humility as she’d
vacillate between tolerably flat generic singing to Edith
Bunker-style screeches. For reasons I can’t explain, this woman
was popular at the church, who always gave her rousing applause
even as I stifled laughter at her comedic and awful high-pitched
screeching climaxes. Singing was simply not this woman’s gift.
But people liked her, for whatever reason, and therefore were
reluctant to tell her that.
So the day came when, for whatever reason, I was playing, “His
Eye Is On The Sparrow,” and as this sister steadied herself for
the opening notes—Why… do I feel discouraged…? –just as we’d
practiced days before, she came in on the wrong note. I mean,
the way wrong note. I mean, I was in New York and she was in
Texas wrong note. And I had two choices: change keys and chase
her to wherever the heck she was—and likely lose the choir who’d
be thrown off by the key change—or stay put and hammer on her
vocal note hoping she’d catch on and come back to earth.
She never did. I mean, she sang the song—the entire song—in the
wrong key. Even after the choir came in, she stubbornly stayed
in the wrong key. Everybody else was with me in E-flat, but
sister was in C or C-sharp. It was awful. It was mind-numbing.
And, when it was all said and done, she resented and blamed me
for playing the song in the wrong key. Guess what, lady—I only
know “His Eye Is On The Sparrow” in one key. Despite a lengthy
intro wherein the key was readily apparent, despite my giving
her her note just before she began singing, she still blamed me,
and many of her pals went along with that. I was ostracized for
being an idiot who went out of his way to embarrass this beloved
sister, and, for months, I had these church ladies looking down
their noses at me as if to say, What an idiot.
This is how utterly stupid this business is. I wasn’t the
greatest pianist in the world, but this woman was an awful
singer. And folks were so invested in this person that, even
though forty other women in the choir sang in the right key,
these friends of hers would rather castigate me than even admit
she’d made a mistake.
Only, when you are operating outside of your gifts, your work
will tell on you. Why do so many black churches pas out these
crude, childish bulletins and flyers that look like some kid
designed them? Why is signage and websites and point of contact
material usually this home-spun do-it-yourself bargain-basement
half-baked stuff while the white churches--even the poor white
churches--tend to put a professional face on their ministry?
It's because you have people who know nothing about web design
making decisions about your website. Because you have Sister
SoAndSo in place who enjoys designing bulletins and flyers but
she's operating outside of her gifts and doesn't realize it: she
thinks these crude Spanky And The Little Rascals signs and
banners look great. And you folk either don't know better or
want to encourage Sister SoAndSo (the way we encourage
eight-year olds) and so you don't tell sister it's not 1965
anymore and we use color now. You enable her to continue
embarrassing herself because, whether you tell her or not,
everyone can see the crude products of someone operating outside
of their gifting. You are not helping sister grow.
I thought then what I believe to be true now:
Church Folk are very much like children, something I find
utterly puzzling. Church Folk, even Church Folk with advanced
college degrees, behave almost exactly like children. They are,
for the most part, quick-tempered, impatient, brassy,
territorial, jealous, competitive, and quick to take charge of
things they don't know anything about. An 8-year old child would
have absolutely no problem charging into a plane's cockpit and
taking control. She would have no problem giving orders to the
tower or flipping switches and what have you. She's a child. She
lacks both reason and accountability. And, in many ways, this is
Church Folk. Charging in and taking command--Church Folk always
want to be in charge of something, most especially things they
don't understand. So they oppress and demoralize willing
workers, most especially workers seen to them as a threat or
workers they feel they need to put in their place. And the
church remains mired in mediocrity because these shot-callers
are in place, raining on every parade. Children respond to fear
more than any other emotion or rationale. The monster in the
closet. The boogeyman under the bed. Children tend to do even
negative things out of fear: peer pressure and fear of
exclusion. Children tend to become territorial over their toys
and over their friends and interests. Church Folk, even Church
Folk with advanced academic degrees, tend to behave in strangely
immature and petty ways.
Likewise, operating outside of your gifts is simple arrogance.
It is usually more about ego and insecurity than about wisdom.
You should be embarrassed. You would be embarrassed, but your
ego is like a defense mechanism preventing you from even
realizing how far out of your element you are. And that’s how
you know you’re in trouble: when you’re doing something
obviously mediocre and meddling in things you do not understand
and you’re not even embarrassed about it.
Praying that God would send forth an anointed minister of music,
and then micromanaging him and tying him up in knots, is
childish and ridiculous. Leaders need to be trusted to lead. You
should plan for and expect them to make mistakes—Aaron and the
golden calf--but that’s how we learn; you must allow them to
take ownership of their ministry. A church administrator or
“choir president” with no musical experience, who has no gifting
in music ministry, should not be a constant stumbling block to
your minister of music. Given certain parameters and budgets,
your minister needs to have unfettered command of his area of
ministry. Not stuck with these divas who’ve been in place for
x-years or these musicians who are favorite darlings of the
congregation but who nevertheless cannot keep up with the new
guy. Even worse: youth workers who still have rotary phones and
who don’t know who Kanye West is.
These are not your gifts. You are operating outside of who God
designed you to be. We are each exclusively and dynamically
tuned to perform works pleasing to God [Ephesians 4:11]. When we
force ourselves, out of necessity, out of ego or ambition, into
areas we know we have little or no facility with, we’re just
kidding ourselves. Worse, we’re allowing our insecurity, ego or
ambition to compromise the work of the Lord.
Moses’ complaint,
when charged by God to lead His people, was that public speaking
wasn’t one of his gifts. Now, God could have zapped Moses into
T.D. Jakes, but instead chose to allow Moses to struggle with
his limitations, which teaches humility. No matter how anointed
you think you are or how many degrees you have, there are limits
to your areas of gifting. Not recognizing or accepting those
limits is arrogance. Humility is about having a certain peace
about things you stink at. Some of us can’t whistle. Some people
can’t roller skate (I can’t imagine not roller skating). Some of
us are tone deaf. Some of us aren’t good administrators or maybe
we aren’t terribly social. The story of Moses and Aaron is about
embracing our own flawed humanity. I’m nearsighted. I have bad
hand-to-eye coordination so I can’t hit a baseball. There are
many things I am very good at, but there are lots of tings I
suck at. Don’t even bother calling me to help fix your car.
Part of our flawed humanity, however, is our competitive streak.
There’s nothing innately wrong with ambition, but irrational
ambition is usually fueled by insecurity. People with huge egos
are almost always the most insecure among us. And that
insecurity, that fear, will force them to put up this front
where they present themselves as some ersatz Master or Mistress
Of The Universe: where they’d like us to believe they are good
at everything and their judgment is flawless. Nobody’s judgment
is flawless and nobody is good at everything. But, at
everybody’s job there is, inevitably, some blowhard in some
position of power that we cannot avoid. And that person ends up
making uniformed decisions out of emotion or ego that makes our
hill that much steeper and the rock we’re pushing up that hill
that much heavier.
Even sadder is when people like that land at church. Or, more
likely, when the workers those bosses oppress land at church.
Finally, within the church environment, these folks find
identity. And, rather than be the antithesis of the abuse they
experience at work, many of these people emulate those bad
bosses, bringing the corporate rules of engagement into the
church house where they absolutely to not belong. That’s where
you find people chairing committees they shouldn’t be on,
leading ministries they have no gifting in, and making lives
miserable just being in the way because they want to be seen.
These folks are the Anti-Moses. Rather than tell God, “Hey, this
isn’t my gift,” they fake it. They impose themselves and their
opinion on things they know nothing about. They micromanage and
meddle for no other reason than that they have Thus And Such
Title. These people are the inevitable delay, the inevitable
stumbling block, to forward progress because they wear their
insecurity on their sleeve. They are petty and mean-spirited,
plotting revenge and politically maneuvering through what is
supposed to be God’s House. Even sadder, far too many of our
pastors knowingly tolerate these people and their foolishness,
leaving them in place either out of fear and/or powerlessness,
or because the pastor himself is operating outside of his
gifting—an energetic and dynamic preacher who is nonetheless a
lousy pastor. A lousy pastor leaves these pain in the butt
people in place, oppressing the flock.
There was once this awful Sunday school teacher who was
absolutely ruinous to the middle school class she’d been
assigned to. Young teens just beginning to make up their minds
about life, about drugs and sex and gangs and who they wanted to
be, were handed over to this sweet but nonetheless clueless and
unqualified woman whom they would mock and harass as she
stumbled through boring lesson after boring lesson. The class
withered away as students began sneaking into the high school
class or helping out in the kitchen or anything to get away from
this boring woman. I spoke to the superintendent, pointing out
how critical that class was and how important it was to have
someone qualified and, above all, anointed to speak into the
lives of children on the cusp of adolescence, and the
superintendent told me, “Well, I know she doesn’t belong in
there. But I just don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
She was a laughing stock. Worse, she was negatively impacting
the very souls of children entrusted into the care of the
church, of the pastor. The pastor’s disconnect from his own
Sunday school (pastors should be routinely auditing these
classes) and his superintendent’s lack of conviction—placing
this woman’s “feelings” above the welfare of the children—are
things they both will someday be called to account for. This is
the lunacy of our Christian culture: that we allow people to
make utter jackasses of themselves. The entire church could see
this sister can’t sing and this other sister can’t teach and yet
this nonsense went on for years. These people were in place, and
that was that. Meanwhile, how many anointed and qualified people
passed through those doors and, seeing this Little Rascals-level
of quality in ministry, just kept going?
The saddest part, for me, was how good a cook this woman was. I
mean, this woman could bring you to your knees with a pot of
Jambalaya. She was amazingly gifted in the culinary arts yet,
far as I can remember, never served in that area. And I'm
certain she had many, many other gifts as well. But teaching
pubescent kids at the dawn of their moral, ethical and sexual
awakening was not one of them. And yet, this is what we do: send
some kindly matron in there, when pastor, you need to keep
rookies out of the room. That's a job for specially trained and
demonstrably anointed individuals.
I tell clients, when I go to New York
on business, I usually let the pilot fly the plane. I don’t go
up to the cockpit and start flipping switches and giving orders.
Back when I used to drive busses in New York, people I’d never
met would routinely get on my bus, hand me a ticket, and go to
sleep. That, beloved, is the very definition of faith. I was a
man they’d never seen before in their lives. I’d showed them no
credentials. No transcript of my driving record. I’d completed
no eye exam in front of them. Taken no questions from the other
passengers. But this is what we do: we, the same Church Folk,
get on planes and buses and trains and pull out their magazine
and that’s that. We assume, and it’s a huge assumption, that if
the pilot is in the cockpit, that he is ready and qualified to
fly.
So, why aren’t I as ready or as qualified? Why do the Church
Folk micromanage and argue and poke at me constantly? Why don’t
they trust that, if God sent me to them, that I am ready and
qualified not only to design your project but to lead that
effort? Why all the second guessing, nit-picking, penny
pinching?
When people operate outside of their gifts, they are usually
embarrassing themselves. And we let God down when we allow this
people to continue, week after week, year after year, to
embarrass and humiliate themselves, to be laughing stocks, as
they continue along in areas where they are not growing and,
worse, where they are stunting the growth of the church and
causing people to stumble. We, all of us, will be held to
account for our lack of conviction; the blood now on our hands
for leaving pastors in place who we all know are not pastors.
Giving solos and applause to people who are not singers. Placing
our children's very future into the hands of people unqualified.
You'd never applaud an alcoholic for driving a school bus, yet
you leave Sister SoAndSo in virtually the same position because
you don't want to hurt her feelings.
Even worse, people operating outside of their gifting are
missing real opportunities and real blessings of being in tune
with God, in step and in sync with God. Many of these people
have amazing talents and gifts which go neglected because
they’re trying to hard to be Yolanda Adams or T.D. Jakes.
Yolanda Adams and T.D. Jakes are extraordinarily gifted
individuals. But God has given each of us unique talents and
skills we can effectively use for His ministry [Ephesians 4].
But there are too many pastors pastoring who are not pastors at
all. Too many singers singing who are not singers at all. And
far too many shot callers calling the shots over areas of
ministry they know nothing about. With no prayer. With no
fasting. With no wisdom. With no anointing. These foolish
people, rushing into the cockpit to grab the wheel from the
pilot. Who start flipping switches. These people are idiots.
Whatever we do for God, let’s do it with wisdom. Let’s do it
with humility, prayerfully and reverently. Let’s do it with
excellence and not this penny-pinching obsession with saving a
nickel by letting Cousin Buzz do it. Most of all, let’s have
some respect if not thankful reverence for those gifted and
talented individuals God has sent to us, and stop killing their
spirit by meddling and micromanaging. Forget the turf war, it’s
all God’s turf. All God’s territory. Stop taking bows for
everything you do in God’s house. Stop putting your name on
everything. And humble yourself enough, just enough, to ask the
question: am I really being effective? Is this area where my
gifts lie?
The answers may be tough to accept, but they will inevitably be
rewarding when you stop going your way and instead move
in-stream with the Holy Spirit, working through those gifts and
talents God has endowed uniquely in you.
Christopher J. Priest
4 October 2009
editor@praisenet.org
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