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Bad Company

The Reason We Do Not Prosper

Stop The Ringing.

Any business that wants to stay in business knows you return every call. Every single one. Without fail and as soon as possible. You never know who that is: the caller could just be some crank or some looky-loo who won't actually buy anything. Or it could be Donald Trump looking for a tax shelter. You just never know.

More important: I tend to gage the spirituality of a ministry based on its responsiveness and attentiveness. A ministry’s job is to minister: to serve the community it is in. Of course, few ministries, of any ethnicity, actually do that. Most churches are where they are because they got a good deal on the land. And they'll move in an eyeblink, without ever looking back, when they get a better deal. Most parishioners come from hither and yon to the church and then dismiss back to hither and yon, without ever knowing the people who live on the same block as the church.

But, ideally, serving your community is what you’re supposed to be doing. When my phone call to your church goes unanswered, it diminishes the truthfulness of your stated purpose. Emblazoned on the front of your building is a word: CHURCH. A CHURCH cannot and must not be selective in terms of which calls are returned and which are not.

It is unreasonable to expect God to enrich you when you operate outside of His will. It is His will that we love one another (John 15:17) and that we see to the needs of one another (John 21:16-17). Deciding, based on whatever criteria, that these calls will be returned but these will not, is simply unscriptural. More than that, it’s bad business.

That person whose voice or name you don't recognize, therefore you didn't call back, might have been wanting to visit with you or fellowship with you. He or she may have been a loan officer or a grant writer or, heck, just some wealthy type— or a conduit to all of the above. The fact that you don't know these people or what they want is precisely why the call must be returned. Even worse is when you assume, based on whatever criteria, that you do know what they want, and that call is, therefore, not worth returning.

Equally important is your voice messaging service itself. Of the forty one calls, I think about six churches had excellent voicemail systems, most notably Israelite COGIC’s system, which is easy to navigate, friendly, and also ties into its web site for more information on the church and its ministries and also provides a 24-hour prayer line that is closely monitored. Israelite is serious about ministry and serious about the business of ministry. They are a model for business administration and information systems of today’s church, where a voice messaging system and a web-based information system are mandatory tools. These are not luxury items or the stuff of starry-eyed techno-geeks. They are the life blood of your ministry.

Beyond the handful of churches with excellent messaging systems, there were, maybe, another dozen with adequate systems., Adequate in that they are voicemail and not answering machines (NEVER use an answering machine), and they provided some minimum information about the church such as (1) where you are, (2) what your service times are, (3) the name of your pastor. These three things are the most vital information a typical visitor will need. If your messaging system does not offer these three pieces of information right up front, you need to change it so that it does. Forcing someone through too many menus can cause them to give up and go somewhere else (Emmanuel, for instance, has one of the best information systems in town, but it requires you to call the Administry office to find out service times— only the recording doesn't tell you that. I had no idea how to access service times until I called the Administry office— what I mistook for their advertising department; again, the recording offers no explanation for what “Administry” means).

The remaining 60% of the black churches I called had either poor voice messaging systems or none at all. A poor messaging system is a cheap answering machine, where someone says, “You have reached Thus And So Church. Please leave a message and someone will return your call as soon as possible. Have a blessed day.” BLEEP.

Now, you've just told a lie. You just said you'd return my call. But you didn't. And you won't. It’s better to NOT use language like, “...we will return your call,” if you’re not studious about returning calls. If your church has an administration problem, as many black churches do, then, seriously, don't use that phrasing because you are, in fact, telling a lie. And that lie undermines your credibility as a church and as a professionally-run institution.

Messages like the above tell me absolutely nothing about your church. I have no idea what time your services are, I have no idea where you are located. I have no idea even what your pastor’s name is. If I am calling to reach a specific party at the church, I have to leave my message amid all the other messages you’re not returning, which makes more work for you. This old style of answering machine typically has a message limit feature, which limits the caller’s message time to sixty seconds. A curious visitor or grieving church member can rarely provide a coherent message before your machine rudely and abruptly disconnects them. Message limits have no place in a church. C'mon, you are a church. You’re not Pizza Hut. You’re not the Dollar Theater. You are a place of hope and compassion, not hope and compassion so long as your problem can be expressed in under sixty seconds. Whatever insanity is motivating some churches here to use message limits on incoming calls— whatever financial motivation (I guess maybe this saves money somehow)— is greatly offset by the bad will it creates in the callers. Callers who now know better than to bother you with their problems or concerns.

At least two churches I called had voicemail but their voice mailboxes were full and thus could not accept any incoming calls. This is criminally dumb behavior. This is incredibly bad business. This is worse, in its own way, than not having voicemail at all. Not having voicemail at all tells me you’re not interested in me, my issues, my membership or my wallet. Actually having voicemail, but not checking it (and thus it becomes full) says something worse about you: it says you’re irresponsible. An irresponsible ministry will never see a single dime of my money.

In my experience, the majority of our churches are in real need of a serious administration overhaul. Information, the life blood of your ministry, does not move efficiently through the church body. Still dependent on an oral tradition that dates back to the plantation, most black churches today rely on word of mouth rather than paper or electronic media. The long and dull reading of the announcements— a completely bad idea as this is typically the dullest point of your morning worship and it, in fact, takes us completely out of worship and now the ministers have to start completely from scratch re-building the momentum the reading of the announcements typically does away with. Announcements most people tune out, anyway, as later in the week, we miss things because, “Well, I didn't hear it announced on Sunday.” A great many of us don't even read the church bulletins the officers invest so much time in publishing every week. You could trim an average of twenty minutes off of your service times if we could only convince people to read. But reading is not our tradition, listening is.

For the entirety of its existence, the black church has relied on a largely oral tradition that, to this day, eschews paperwork: memos, business plans, contracts. We do it all on a handshake because that’s how we've always done it. But, then, six months later, we’re arguing because everybody’s memory of the specific game plan is different. I've been to countless high-level meetings in black churches where nobody took down even a single word of the meeting, and where no follow-up memorandum, summarizing the meeting and what we agreed to do, was ever drawn up. The fact is, a great many leaders in our community lean on the old handshake rule because they can't type. Literally; that’s the main reason many old school church leaders and department heads perpetuate the old school handshake method is they, literally, can't type. Writing, therefore, becomes a torture for them because they've grown up in a world where typing was something women did, or was viewed as an optional skill. These days, everybody types. Many of our leaders today are ashamed or embarrassed that they can't type and so dismiss the notion of paperwork in a folksy, “Aww, it don't take all that.” This is what we do: rather than admit our insecurities or our shortcomings, we go on the attack. We demonize and villainize whatever it is that we can't do, whatever makes us feel insecure, making a virtue of our cowardice. And this mindset continues to stunt church growth to this day.

Because we don't read, paper— memos, proposals, and yes, phone messages— flutter around the ministry offices or are left abandoned in departmental mailboxes. Most churches I know have these 1960’s-style hanging files for each department. These file boxes are typically overflowing, mostly with junk mail and solicitations and magazines. But, somewhere amid the stuff you don't need is something you do. Maybe my phone message. But since we’re not terribly studious about clearing our department’s mailbox, the clutter masks the important stuff, and this is how phone calls go unreturned and how blessings are missed. Poor administration is usually the main reason why churches don't grow. People who want to be department heads because they are innately insecure and so want or need the external validation of a title and an “office” are precisely the wrong people you want heading anything. These are people more in love with the idea of being in charge than they are knowledgeable about the responsibility of good stewardship. Their departments are, typically, dead letter offices where no paper is moving and where they are difficult to reach unless you get in your car and drive down to the church and lie in wait for them. God cannot possibly be pleased or magnified by these people, as they tend to impede God’s work and tend to set a bad example for God and for your ministry.

These days, maintaining adequate records is absolutely imperative to your church’s survival. Moving information around is like moving blood around your body and vital organs. But most churches are still on the old handshake tradition. Most churches, in this town, still do everything by telephone. Which, actually, explains why my calls don't get returned: many of these poor messaging systems are, likely, overwhelmed by common calls with common questions that could more efficiently have been handled by a proper combination of voice information and web-based information systems. The most basic and common reaction I get from church folk at the mention of this subject is a laugh. Nice church ladies crack a smile, followed by cutting sarcasm, like, “Yeah, well, this is my eMail right here [phone dialing gesture].”

We’re scared of technology because that is the example that has been set for us. By well-meaning elders who are intimidated by technology. And by some who overcompensate for deep insecurity with loud bluster and thunderous assurances that their way is right and true and that, “It don't take all that.” Many pastors, in this town, don't even know how to turn a computer on. Don't have one in their office. Aren't online. Have no eMail. And, of the very few who have eMail, many do not check it regularly. And, frankly, a great many church folk in leadership here in town are not interested in this website or anything I have to say. Many church folk will, in fact, go on the attack. Having never even seen the PraiseNet, this site will, inevitably, be villainized by some ministry or ministries here. This is what we do: we attack that which makes us insecure.

Hit Reply

These days, having a website and an eMail address is not an option. Any business wanting to stay in business has a web site and eMail. The web is no longer some exotic neverland, some wondrous and frightening place of pornographers and Satan worshippers. The web is exactly like the telephone: it is only as good or as evil as the people using it. Simply having a website does not mean you will burn in hell or see porn or, I dunno, burst into flames. You must have a web site. It really is that simple. Many white churches post their announcements on their web sites and send out eMail newsletters to an eMailing list of their congregants. They partner that with sophisticated voicemail where churchgoers can access specific mailboxes to hear announcements read or receive specific information from specific departments. This is not some far-flung future technology. This technology is not super-expensive, either. We've got to overcome our cultural technophobia to even begin to approach this quite simple and quite low standard of communication— a common standard among churches of other ethnicities.

You must have a website. The PraiseNet offers you a way to get your toe in the water and begin to explore the benefits of web-based communication, but eventually you must build a site of your own. All of your department heads must have eMail and must RETURN the MESSAGES they receive in a timely fashion, or they need not be department heads.

The small group of committed Christians who have partnered to develop the Colorado PraiseNet will be making another couple rounds of phone calls, inviting these ministries (again) to make use of this online ministry. This time we will be targeting specific ministries with specific people because, well, if Church “B” knows Jack, they'll call Jack back. If Church “G” knows Fred, they'll call him back, etc. This is an extremely sophomoric way for grownups to have to strategize something as simple as getting a phone call returned, but this is the reality of the black church today: if it is an unfamiliar voice on the line, the odds of getting a return call are practically zero.

This is why we continue to struggle and sweat and toil and sell pies and chicken and hammer our people for endless building funds and capital programs. This is why our program and resources remain limited and our growth stunted. Because we run our churches like this. But it’s not our church we’re running like this, it’s God’s church. It’s God’s business.

What would happen if God operated like that? If God answered certain prayers from certain people, but people He didn't like or people He was uncomfortable with went ignored? What if God ran His business the way we run ours? What if nothing got done in heaven or earth because God’s mailbox was full and He wasn't getting His messages?

But, isn't the reality of the matter that we, all of us, me you, white black green— we are engaged in doing God’s business. A business He financed with the blood of His only Son. Blood we have on our hands when we run God’s business in a shoddy, half-baked manner. When we diminish the significance of that sacrifice, the Bible speaks of us “crucifying Him afresh (Hebrews 6:6).”

That, my friends, is God’s phone. It’s not your phone. It’s God’s phone. You have no right to not return phone calls placed to God’s house. You have no right to be selective about whose call you will return because you are only a steward, a doorkeeper, in God’s house.

Your church lives and dies by its administrative function. By its ability to interface with its membership and with the greater world around it. This is not a place for bad attitudes or teeth-sucking dismissive demagoguery. All of that, at the end of the day, is simple immaturity and insecurity. You don't want insecure people answering your phones. It’s a grown-up responsibility that requires committed, Spirit-endowed people to keep the blood flowing through the Body of Christ. The bible speaks of entertaining angels unawares [Hebrews 13:2]. Many of those angels may have tried calling your church, may have waited and waited and waited to hear from you that they might deliver God’s message to you. But you never called back.

Amazing Tech

This “new” technology of voicemail and internet is more than a quarter of a century old, now. It is so commonly used that schools, pizza shops, gas stations, laundromats— the most common and seemingly ordinary corners of your life have voicemail and web sites. But the black church is, in large measure, still making excuses. Still retreating behind sarcasm and jokes because, frankly, we can't type. Not being able to type well is no sin, and there are ways around that (excellent voice recognition software is available dirt cheap these days). Not knowing anything about the internet or the web is no sin, either. We'll be happy to take you through it. Church growth is largely a measure of (1) Christ being lifted up [John 12:32], and (2) the efficiency of your church’s administration. Think of the example you set, when you greet visitors— either in person or on the phone or on the web— that is, assuming they can visit you on the web. What net impression are they leaving with? A warm greeting, with lots of information and options, like Israelite, Solid Rock and Emmanuel? Or, like the majority of our churches, little or no information, no web presence at all, and no return calls.

Don't wait to become a big church to start acting like a big church. Big or small, if you want success you have to conduct yourself like a successful ministry, without the tired excuses or the hostility. Paul exhorts us, in 1 Corinthians 7:17-24, “But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.” If you want growth, conduct yourself like the church you want to be. Start now. Re-educate your ministry leaders now. You want classrooms and office space? Act like a ministry that already has those assets, and speak of those things as though they were [Romans 4:17]. Walk in victory. Hold your head up. You are administrators of a multi-million dollar ministry. Multi-million dollar ministries have web sites. Multi-million dollar ministries use eMail. Multi-million dollar ministries manage resources to care for their membership. Multi-million dollar ministries return phone calls.

Drive around and visit some of these massive churches, built by prayer and supplication, yes, but also built by vigilant administration and grant proposals. Most of us know nothing whatsoever about grant proposals, about endowments, because we don't read. We don't write. We don't surf the net. We don't return phone calls. But we can and often do envy the resources of our brothers and sisters of other ethnic groups. A waste of time, to be sure, because they worship the same God we do. Our God doesn't move any less than their God. Our God isn't any less powerful or any less loving or generous than their God. It’s the same God. But they have a nursery and we don't. They have office and classroom space, but we don't. They have multimedia presentation equipment, but we don't. They have spacious and comfortable auditoriums, but we don't. They have cappuccino in the lobby, but we don't.

This isn't about them and us. This isn't about keeping pace with other ethnic groups. This is simply about being the very best because our God deserves no less from us. A God who cannot lie and cannot play favorites. In the final analysis, our worst enemy is often us. Our wounds are mostly self-inflicted. Our growth impeded by our own insecurity. Having a website and adequate voicemail, and returning messages, isn't a guarantee of ministerial prosperity. It’s not the answer for everything or everyone. But no ministry will ever be effective if they are not diligently consistent with the principles they espouse. You simply cannot expect to prosper if you are giving God shoddy work. If you are doing a half-baked job.

After all, God gave us His best.

Christopher J. Priest
24 November 2002
editor@praisenet.org
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