A Woman's Place
Gender Bias In The House of God
Years ago, I was over Dr, Henry Johnson’s house when his
granddaughter with the way-too-cold-hands was gleefully playing
with me. In her eyes was all the promise of the entire planet. A
great author. A great poet. A great physician. A great lawyer.
She was, at age four, all promise. There was absolutely no
deceit in her. She tells me she loves me and she means it, and
I’m just a goner. I’d empty my bank account for her and I’d
throw myself under a bus to protect her.
And, yet, my thoughts drift to the many lessons life has in
store for her. That, sooner than we think, some boy or some man
is going to wound her. And the day will come, far sooner than we
expect, where those eyes that sparkle with life and trust will
take on a more guarded aspect. Where just the smallest part of
her innocence will be stolen away because somebody broke her
heart. That’s how it begins. And, shelter her all you want, you
simply can’t prevent it from happening, mainly because the boys,
the boys, the boys are never really educated about girls. About
how to cherish and protect them. About how to not abuse their
trust and friendship. Far too many of our churches teach boys
absolutely nothing.
Paul vs. Women
Old Testament Law was fulfilled by the death and resurrection of
Jesus Christ, which means we no longer are under the Law but
under grace. Most of our pastors, therefore, look not to the
oppressive Levitical Law to govern our modern-day attitudes
toward women but look to the oppressive Pauline epistles—letters
the Apostle Paul wrote to the emerging churches of Jesus Christ.
Jesus Himself gave no gender-specific regs to women, and the
biblical model of His divine personal example is Jesus treated
women fairly, with dignity and respect. There are no biblical
examples of Christ behaving in a sexist fashion or treating
women harshly.
The Apostle Paul, on the other hand, seemed to dislike women
intensely. His letters are fiercely oppressive and critical of
women. He has very few kind words for the sisters, and he
insists they exist mainly if not exclusively to service the men
in their lives. Paul fiercely opposed marriage [I Cor. 7] and
did not favor the education of women, but preferred they learn
at home if their husbands so chose to educate them [1 Cor 14:34,
1 Timothy 2:11].
It is this teaching that forms the bedrock of our church doctrine
today. Although we certainly teach women and give women what
Paul would likely consider an unconscionable platform to share
and express themselves, the Pauline Epistles remain, for
conservative churches, God’s Law for His people, which we
selectively apply. This is extremely bad doctrine and faulty
exegesis. There is a wealth of good teaching within Paul’s
letters, but accepting a plain-text reading of those letters as
God’s Law and, for most churches, God’s Word itself, is terribly
wrong. These are not God’s words. They are, by their own
testimony, [I Cor 7] Paul’s words. When these letters refer to
scripture as being divinely inspired and good for teaching, Paul
was not talking about his own letters. He was referring to the
Old Testament. There was no New Testament at the time of Paul’s
writing. Paul, a fanatical Pharisee in love with God’s word,
would be outraged to know his letters had been canonized,
equated with the Holy Scriptures. This is not to take away any
authority or divine inspiration from Paul’s words but to point
out the words are, in fact, Paul’s and not God’s. Paul’s
cultural outlook, his temper, his personality, saturates these
words. He is also talking to specific people at
specific times and about specific things. A plain-text
reading of those words denies them their power and authority
because we do not include the circumstances under which they
were written.
The Ten Commandments are just that: universal truths written o
everybody. But, to properly understand Paul’s teaching, we must
invest ourselves in understanding who he was talking to and what
was going on at that time. I have rarely seen this from a black
pulpit. We just run around quoting Paul out of context and using
his Rabbi’s disdain for women as our template for male attitudes
within the church. I am, however, leery of female preachers and
pastors.
My Roommate Puts Up With A Lot:
she's minding her own business when suddenly a light is placed
next to her and a camera it thrust in her face....and she doesn't move out.
The Essential Sister
I was sitting in the pulpit next to a female minister at my
former church when I glanced out at the first pew to see this
pre-teenager, maybe fourteen or fifteen, had dozed off on the
front pew. She was wearing an inappropriately short skirt—which
is another sore subject for me, mothers who allow their
daughters to dress like hookers—a skirt made all the more
inappropriate because, much as this girl wanted to seem older
and, I guess, sexy, she was still very much a child. So much so
that she had dozed off the way a little kid does, kind of
crumpled there in the pew, head back, mouth open, a rag doll
with her legs splayed open, revealing polka-dot panties to the
pulpit and choir stand which, on this particular Sunday, was
filled with the church’s male chorus. Thirty or so grown men,
the sinewy bulwark of the church, dressed in cheap,
silly-looking matching polyester suits (memo to the men:
PLEASE stop doing that), sat four pews deep behind me, Miss
Thing and her privatewear in plain view of these gentlemen, none
of whom made any effort to alert an usher. Failing to get an
usher’s attention after many tries, I turned to the female
minister sitting next to me and asked her to please go down to
the front pew and cover up the kid. Which earned me a nasty look
from the female minister, who said, “Well, why are you looking?”
She then turned away from me and gave her attention back to the
pulpit, ignoring me, the girl and the peep show the teenager was
giving the male chorus.
All of which proved this woman wasn't ready. There are lots of
women in pulpits across America who aren't ready. Who aren't
submitted, not to the male but to God. Who wear their politics
on their sleeve and whose main sermon topic tends to be about
how tough it is to be a female minister. Oh shut up, already.
Not allowed to preach in the pulpit? Oh, shut up, already.
Sister, it is an honor and a privilege to preach God's word. If
I have to stand out in the parking lot to do it, I am grateful.
I am not against women preachers except to the extent that at
least 90% of black women I've heard preach were, as this sister
was, not ready. Not submitted. They were brassy and belligerent
and defensive. They've
taken on male attributes, male aggression, male mannerisms,
which is contrary to God's plan. A woman should not have to be
masculine to preach. A woman should be humble and broken and
submitted and willing to help—most specifically in areas where
she and she alone can be effective (as with this dozing teen).
Were I a female, a mother, a sister, this minister would have
received my request less as a command than as what it was— a
plea for help. Gender bias being what it is, it would have been
unseemly for me, a male minister, to go down front and drape a
towel over this girl’s legs. I’m sure her mother would have
cussed me out and called me a pervert for looking in the first
place. But, consequently, I’m surrounded by women so terribly
wounded that they interpret everything every man says to them in
the worst way possible. A female minister has certain powers and
abilities far beyond what their male counterparts are capable
of. Had this female minister gone down front, draped a towel
over the girl's open legs, and thumped the child behind the
ears, “Wake up!” nobody, and I mean nobody, would cast an
accusing glance at her. Nobody would call her names or drag her
into the pastor’s office.
“This is why the Mothers of the Church are simply essential,”
the late Pastor Henry Johnson told. “In my day, the pastor would
never have to ever deal with those kinds of things because the
Church Mothers, the missionaries, the ushers, the First Lady—
they'd catch this kind of stuff right away, offering to cover up
the short skirts and plunging necklines and other inappropriate
behavior inside the sanctuary. No pastor could effectively do
his job without the church mothers there to step in and help him
deal with women's issues.” I strongly agree. Young women and
girls may sass me, but they'll think twice before trying to
raise up on Mother, they'll be picking themselves up off the
floor. See, that's Mother's super power: to love, to console, to
encourage. And, when need be, to slap the ever loving daylights
out of some fast, loud, arrogant girl who desperately needs
boundaries and correction. She can do things we simply
can't—under any circumstances. She can tell sister her skirt's
too short. She can tell her her boyfriend's no good for her.
And, yes, she can snatch ol' gal up when need be. The mothers of
the church are there to take the younger ladies in hand and be a
help to them. In many ways, the church mothers are more
empowered than even the pastor. And, yet, the wise church
mother, the spiritual church mother, is also fully submitted to
leadership, and doesn't bring her unannounced luggage— gender
bias towards men—to the church with her.
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Being able to navigate the tangled web of gender bias is one
of the reasons female ministers are both essential and
indispensable. But, if you haven’t been delivered from the hurt
you had, as a child, as an adult, as a wife, if you’re still
harboring resentment toward men and see enemies in all men, if
you bristle and resent any request or instruction from a male in
authority—you are utterly useless to the cause of Christ. I
would that women in ministry, whether ministers or lay persons,
receive input and instructions in a gender-neutral fashion.
Which is to say, when I ask you to help me or to please assist
me or to please do something, just act on those instructions as
if a woman had issued them. Take the bias out of it and realize
my asking you to do something means one of several
possibilities: (1) it’s something that falls under your
ministry; it’s your job to do this, (2) it’s something only you
can do because you’re a female, otherwise I’d do it myself.
I’m not asking you to cook me dinner. I’m not asking you to clean the house. I’m certainly not asking you for sex or trying to lord it over you. It drives me absolutely nuts that I have to over-explain and rationalize every request—these aren’t “orders” mind you—when, nine out of ten times, when I ask a brother for help, he goes, “Sure,” and just does it. With the sisters, I’ve got to play twenty questions.
