My question is always about how to move further the rock that is ministry. Sometimes, rocks are heavy and require a plan to move them. But, if you're the only one who sees a need to move it, a rock bigger than you is not going to budge. This sermon was born out of a desire to move a rock, a heavy one at that. This sermon is actually about a departure from one thing into another. I was preaching to me. I hope that it preaches to you.

by Neil Brown

I fought God for a while before leaving my former church. I had been there six years and was starting to feel burnout and fatigue. Please don't get me wrong; I love these folks. I admire the Pastor so much that he has been like a surrogate father to me. But, because I am a bit more radical with ministry than he, we didn't always see eye to eye. He could give me an idea for something, and I'd take it further than perhaps he was ready to go. I think that, in many ways, I scared him. In fact, I'm positive because he even said once that I walk “too close to the edge.” So, needless to say, I had to ask God to either find a way to make room for my ministry at that church or move me somewhere else that is going to make me challenge myself and the status quo. Sure, I'm big on tradition like most people, but, I'm not big on doing it this way because It's always been done this way. That, to me, is not tradition. It's ritual and ceremony. My question is always about how to move further the rock that is ministry. Sometimes, rocks are heavy and require a plan to move them. But, if you're the only one who sees a need to move it, a rock bigger than you is not going to budge. This sermon was born out of a desire to move a rock, a heavy one at that. I began to see potential for new ways of ministering to not only young people, but the church as a whole.

Have you ever tried to articulate a vision or an idea that no one seems to get but you? It is so clear to you, but confusing to someone else? You know how it's possible for two people to see the same painting and interpret it two different ways? I felt like I was beating my head up against a wall. Repeatedly. Very frustrating process. But, out of that frustration, things like the Jesus House were born and executed and done very successfully. Not that I'm bragging, it's the Lord's doing and, like the psalmist, it's marvelous in my eyes.

Well, one day, this servant girl Rhoda spoke to me in a new way. She, too saw and heard things in a way that the present guard on watch didn't. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with them, but we were moving in two different directions. So I prayed and asked God about what to do.

Why do I hear a different a drum than everybody else. How come the music is different in my ears? Why am I speaking to totally different language than they? Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Rhoda and I hear knocking when nobody else does. I want to do what nobody else wants to. I like to create friction and waves and ripples when everyone likes peace and tranquility. I want to rock the boat. I want to be controversial so people will talk about what's going on and stop acting like everything is okay.

Oh my prayer... well, I suppose that God answered it. My season in one place was over and I was to begin in a new place; a new vineyard. But, I fought God about the very thing I asked Him to do. I asked, “Where do I fit? Where do I belong? What's the next move or the next step?”

It was at the door for a couple of years, I just refused to answer it.

Just simply afraid to admit that if I really wanted to see something else because I had heard something else, I was really going to have to go somewhere else in order to do something else. Anybody else got Rhoda's spirit?

I ain't afraid no more. This sermon is actually about a departure from one thing into another. I was preaching to me. I hope that it preaches to you.

Neil M. Brown
15 August 2005
holla@neilbrown.org
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